Full Version: I Can Screw Up Anything At Anytime. I'll Just Say Russia Did It!
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The Russians turned off my alarm clock and made me late for an appointment yesterday. They've burnt my toast a couple of times this week and they keep moving things around because they aren't where I think I put them.
They keep moving my car keys. And last week they hid both pairs of eye glasses(takes a one to find one) And when I call my dog & she doesn't come I know she is being held against her will by those nasty Russians!
Arsenal lost 2-1 to Bournemouth the other week, all down to those pesky Russians!
Putin forced me to vote Brexit!
They made me buy a pizza takeaway even though I'm still overdrawn from Christmas #evilpizzapushingdebtinducingswines